“Machete Don’t Text, Machete Improvises”

Morning all,

Bet you can guess what I did last night. Okay, I’ll be really obvious and spell it out for you even more. I went to the movie theatre and caught a late showing of Machete from Robert Rodriguez starring Danny Trejo, Bobby De Niro, Don Johnson, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and a bunch of other famous peeps. You know, Machete! That flick that had a fake (not so fake anymore) trailer in front of Grindhouse a few years ago.

So here are some quick thoughts:

Danny Trejo is a short dude. You’d think this like ol’skool Mexican action hero was like this huge mofo that towered over everyone, but the truth of the matter is he’s barely up to Alba’s shoulders (okay, he’s probably taller than that, but I’m doing this all from memory). Also, make no mistake, Machete is a comedy. Sure it’s got all of these awesome throwback sequences to the old days, but at the end of the day Rodriguez made this to make you laugh – and he accomplished this. The story is simple, Mexican agent  becomes a legend and goes rogue during a Texas election. Political commentary aside, Machete kills it. Bloody kills it. It was also really nice to see that Steven Seagal hasn’t just been sitting around eating burgers and cupcakes for the last decade (wait…) and I really love how Robert Rodriguez “Introduces” Don Johnson. There are so many nods to the way cheap movies were made back in the day it’s impossible to mention them all.

If you’ve got some time over the next few weeks, this is actually a flick that I would suggest watching in theatres. The sound, picture quality and the entire theatre experience does in fact enhance Machete quite a bit. It’s a really fun watch if you’re into simple stories with outlandish results.

Oh, and one more thing:

“Machete don’t text. Machete improvises.”