I have a thing for digital experiences that guide users through a story and with Jay-Z‘s latest online venture Jay-Z Hits Collection Vol. 1 it basically uses everything that’s making the web a unique interactive experience. The site has style, personality, usability, organization, voice and above all, a ridiculously strong narrative line throughout. Okay, I’ll stop gushing about this and just share the link.

Hope you enjoy as much as I do.

Jay-Z Hits Collection Vol. 1

Morning all,

I know this might seem a bit strange, you know… Me writing something on the weekend and stuff, but I find it the most appropriate time for some reason. See, as many of you already know (mom – calling out to you once again), I decided about a month ago to leave my post as the Creative Producer at Free The Children and take on a brand new challenge. That’s right, as of now, I’m a member of Naked Creative in Toronto. I’ll post a little bit more about Naked in a bit, but I would like to dedicate this rare weekend post to everyone I worked with/for at Free The Children. This feels like the end of a really good TV show where you want it to continue, but for reasons out of your control, it simply can’t. Not only am I sad to leave, but my life would suck without you… (queue a Kelly Clarkson song now).

I’ve left jobs before, but for many reasons, this was different. The FTC gang was/is my Toronto family. They were the only people I knew when I first picked up my life and kicked it Eastern Style and I can honestly say I had the time of my life. They were creative, personal, passionate and friendly beyond the Canadian norm and for all of these things and more, I really hope they know how much I appreciated them opening up their office to my strange style. The breakfast send-off was amazing, the Naked Wine was perfecto and the non-filtered convos at the end of the night will be with me forever.

I’m so appreciative of this fact that a friend of mine and I created this site for the entire staff (or at least the peeps we worked closely with) in hopes of keeping in touch.

So, onto those greener pastures I mentioned earlier… Naked Creative. After a strange and unexplained Facebook status update a few weeks ago, I can confirm that I am not literally naked (or am I?) but I am joining a team called Naked. I’ll be taking my inexperience, my nervousness, my excuses, my unexplained reactions and my inability to navigate around this city to the studio that brought you this.

So again, thank you FTC – you’ve been wonderful and I hope to keep in touch; but let the excitement begin.

I’m So Naked Right Now!

I’m not entirely sure of the psychology behind it (I’m still waiting for my master’s degree in doctorology to come in the mail) but I think 9 straight hours talking about brand is unhealthy. Yesterday some members of the team at work got an amazing lesson in branding from a professor of… brand? Don’t get me wrong, it was inspiring and extremely helpful if not only for the lesson, but because he reiterated basically everything a couple of us have been trying to convince the “powers that be” that we should be doing. I guess it doesn’t matter how the message is sent, as long as it’s heard and understood. Anyways, the lesson itself was about 5 hours, which wasn’t bad at all; it was the inevitable follow-up that destroyed my temporal lobe.

Have you ever just sat there and watched people try to be creative after 5 hours about talking about being creative? It’s like watching humans turn into zombies in slow-mo. The irony exists in the ideas that we all tried to pitch. They were incomplete, didn’t achieve any of the goals we set and, dare I say it – bad.

To me, and this is just me, branding is a long process. You can’t just wake up one morning and say “hey, I gots me a new brand!” It’s organic, it’s personal and it grows with the users/audiences/readers/targets. If we’re always searching for the big “Eureka” moment, isn’t that a contradiction?

In any case, it’s nice to be set along a better path – even if it took a university professor to convince “the powers that be” that we should think about our actions before making decisions. Here’s hoping we don’t divert.

Ah to work in the same office as crazy people is such a fun experience. Case and point, Scott Hammell (a magician, motivational speaker, stuntman and now truly insanely brave dude) from the office jumped out of an airplane from 11,000 feet in the air. To top it off, he wanted to do it Stevie Wonder-style. And if that was crazy enough, why not slap on some handcuffs right? Well, check out the video below to see how it all panned out. I’ll give you a hint, he did it!

But this wasn’t just a dude looking for an angle and it wasn’t to bolster the ego. Scott Hammell risked his life for the purposes of charity, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Oh right… the video

So the burning question seems to be “Why the F*#% would this guy even attempt this?” Well, here’s where it gets good. Scott Hammell is part of an organization called Me to We (oh hey, so am I!) and as part of his passion for inspiring others to be better in their lives, he likes to show that pretty much anything is possible. Even things like the stunt above.

Well done fellow Scott – it’s all in the name isn’t it?

Next Monday will mark the kick-off of another project here at the exclusive computer nerd-labs of my work. Yes, alright – I could be exaggerating about the “exclusive computer nerd” stuff, but us introverts need to generate self importance some how right? Anyways, Monday we will be kicking off a brand new digital campaign that will be %100 WordPress generated.

I know what most of you are thinking, “Dude, WordPress is like so 2006!” well, to give you all some insight, WordPress is like a foreign language here and for us to even make the decision to use the system was a HUGE step. So instead of writing how Movable Type or Drupal are much better systems (or to build our own), for the sake of argument I’m going to deem WordPress as a step in the right direction.

Over the course of a month the crew here will be learning about blog design, writing, voice and tone and most of all, the power of unique and consistent content over this thing we call the Interwebs. I have a lot of confidence in the Scooby Gang here, but as with all projects, I’m expecting to fail a few times before we get this right.

Thanks for the good luck wishes in advance!

Yup, that’s right – it was me.

Fridays usually include a lunch event of some sort for the crew I work with. Sometimes we go out for sushi, other times it’s Thai food, but last week was an off-week as we’re all eagerly awaiting to be paid again. On a side note, “Damn you monthly expenses!!!!”

So instead of going out for lunch, we all stayed in and brown-bagged it. The result was boredom. We weren’t at all interested in what we were eating or really any of the subject matters we usually touch on when we’re away from the office. Instead someone broke out their iPhone and with it, the end of productivity. These little micro-transaction games that are floating around are ridiculously addictive. First we all shared how fun these farming games were, then I piped in with the one game that single-handedly ended the rest of the day’s work.

I’m speaking of course of High School Super Star. The gang asked what I play and I showed them this little app that puts you back in high school. The intention is to create a persona and gain popularity. Popularity can be gained by fighting and smack talking, buying cool shit for your locker and getting after school jobs. Sounds lame, I know, but for some reason everyone was absolutely hooked. This is not an advertisement for High School Super Star – in fact, this is a warning for anyone at work right now. Do not share this game – it will suck the resources away from your project faster than the new 3GS.

So to give everyone a bit of background info, I’ve been tasked to write a wedding speech for a friend of mine who will be getting married quite soon. I’m not exactly sure why I was chosen to do so other than the fact that the bridesmaids don’t want to. Call it fear of public speaking, lack of confidence, or the inevitable pressure felt when doing it, but the bottom line is I gotta step up.

I’ve been going through my notes on the matter for the better part of a week and I’ve written, then re-written, then swore at myself a lot, tore up a bunch of drafts and realized that this is probably the most important thing I’ve ever put on paper. In comparison to video game scripts, web site copy and ad campaigns, wedding speeches can make or break you… figuratively of course. Not only am I writing to entertain, but I’ve also got to say it out loud. I have to grab the attention of the entire audience, and make it endearing enough that the bride doesn’t think I’m a big goof. Then there’s the argument of jokes, stories and what I am now referring to as the “Aaaaaawe” moments.

I’ve done quite a bit of research on the matter and I think there’s a pace you can take when writing/reading a wedding speech. You want to draw them in, keep them and take them on a ride they’ll never forget. In other words, you have to write the dialogue for a movie trailer. I’m alright when it comes to the excitement and the stories – I’ve known the bride since the first day of Kindergarden so the tales are endless. Where I’m having trouble is the “Aaaaaawe.” factor. How much “Aaaaaawe,” do I include? Do I try to make people cry? If I do, how do I know people won’t just laugh?

My solution for the moment is to tell a tale. How I met the bride, how I felt when the bride met the groom and all of the “Aaaaawe” moments in between. Similar to cutting a movie trailer, I want to include high moments and splice in “Aaaaawe,” moments. The key right now is trying not to blow the ultimate “Aaaawe” in the beginning. Timing, pace and a plan to toy with the emotions of the audience and they will be mine…. ALL MINE!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha

Seriously though, I have no idea what I’m going to write about because I just looked over my last draft and decided to burn it and bury the remains in the back yard. Damn this shit is difficult…

Apparently this is what Frances would look like if she were an M&M

As a special request from a new co-worker, I am devoting an entire post to Frances (don’t call me FrancIS, AKA Ninja Koala) Data. The print designer extraordinaire has been gracing the office with her presence for the past few months and said she would only read The Bloated Penguin if it was worth reading. Well, Frances, here you go.

Frances can be recognized as the “silent girl” as she is the pictured example for the I Am Silent campaign here in the office.

She’s created some great print work from travel brochures to holiday donations catalogs and I am relying on her to help me design a friend’s wedding invitation.

For lack of ideas, content and the fact that I’m tired here is a picture of an actual ninja koala.

Bye Frances – Welcome to The Bloated Penguin

When we heard about this last week I wasn’t sure how well it would go over. Apparently my boss was contacted by some peeps over at the Colbert Report and asked to come on the show to talk about Child Labor. See, the thing about Stevie Colbert is that he lives in a giant pool of ridiculousness and sometimes not everyone understands that the entire show is basically an act. Well, I think after the PR team at my work prepped the boss man he was really prepared.

Click here to watch the clip. Comedy Central won’t let me embed cause they want to show you more adds for Cialis….

Good job Marc – I think you impressed a lot of people with the interview. Also (and this is the most important) gave me my first “So You Wanna Know What’s So Effen’ Cool About My Work” story. Eat it friends! My boss was on Colbert Report!!!!

Key kids and giant group of screaming teenage girls. (I only say that because if my SEO is good enough you’ll have searched “Jonas Brothers” this morning and stumbled upon this)

So Monday out here in Toronto was We Day. For those of you in Vancouver reading this, you’ll remember the name because it was all over the papers and the news last week. The Dalai Lama (sorry if I just butchered the name) showed up with some folks like Sarah Mclachlan, Mia Farrow and Jason Mratz and helped promote youth empowerment to all of the kiddies. Well Toronto didn’t carry all of the guests over, but it did bring its share of surprise guests.

COMMENCE HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING NOW

The Jonas Brothers showed up and played a surprise song to audience over the lunch break on Monday. Not just that, but teenage heart-throb Justin Bieber showed up as well and cracked his voice through a solo on stage. Alright, so at the end of the day We Day Toronto might have turned out a little bit more like the Teen Choice Awards, but it was for the kids so I’m sure they left an impression.

Although I never really got to officially “meet” the Jonas Brothers (here in Toronto filming a movie I think) I would assume the conversation would have gone something like this:

Me – You can call me Sco-Jo

JB – But we won’t

Me – But we have so much in common

JB – Like what?

Me – I cause incoherent screaming from preteen girls as well

JB – Security!!!!!

I think you can agree that it would have turned out like that exactly had been in a room with them.

Alright, Laters.