The Bloated Penguin

Wow….

Ever wonder where online video could go if marketing corporations and online video players actually worked together? First, check out this ad by Frito which I have embedded below:

“And Then There Was Salsa” from Frito Lay Dips on Vimeo.

Pretty Effen sweet huh? Now, check out what this video is like when you load it up on Vimeo’s site

RIGHT HERE

WHAAAAAAATTTTT?

Props to Vimeo and Fritos for putting together something really amazing that will no doubt change the way corporations look at online video advertising. Youtube…. What’s your push back?

As most of us Canadians were forced to endure the terrible introductions of Brian Williams and his ragtag team of bad broadcasters, old people and socially inept morning hosts, I did notice a few things that could have made things more enjoyable.

10 – Dude drinking beer through Whistler village.

CTV completely missed the boat on this one forgetting to mention that the beer was most likely locally brewed.

9 – Loooouuuuuu is not Booooooooo

I get that CTV and TSN tried to explain that us Vancouverites were not booing, but why not actually ask someone who doing it?

8 – The Houses

Other than constant shots of Canada Hockey House, CTV never really showcased any other house. Wasn’t Holland house bangin?

7 – From Dives to Presentable Venues

This is more of a tip of the hat to the people of VANOC who turned dives like the Pacific Coliseum and BC place into world class venues. CTV decided not to show how much work was put into these places to make them look the way they did.

6 – How Did Brian Williams Stay Alive?

I’m sure that Brian Williams has since returned to his cryogenic chamber that keeps him preserved for another four years, but I would have liked to see someone analyze his day like he did will all of the speed skaters.

5 – How were all of these red mittens produced?

I’m not being critical, in fact I think it would have been a great segment to have. How did The Bay manage to turn everyone’s hands red? Come on, wouldn’t you have rather seen that than another segment of Michael Landsberg walking through Whistler village?

4 – Athlete’s Village

What went on in there? Fans partied outside, but weren’t there some kickin’ parties going on in the Athlete’s Village? It was like CTV tried to get in the door, but the bouncer said no unless he brought 6 hot friends.

3 – What happened to those tards who broke shit?

It would have awesome to show what happened to those guys that went around smashing shit. Like a 5 minute segment on a VANOC van dropping them off in Hope or something with a bunch of the mascots waiting to pound on them.

2 – Russian Disappointment

Okay, maybe this would have been a bit much, but as we passed the Olympic flag over to Sochi, would it have been cool to challenge them personally? Like “Let’s see if you can do it better, even though you’re all considered failures already by your leader.”

1 – Danny Chan’s Olympic Photography

Again, probably not the highest on everyone’s list but Danny Chan had some of the BEST images of the games I’ll ever see. It was a privilege to follow him on FB and got me thinking about why CTV didn’t focus a little bit on the personal creativity of the locals.

Don’t know if Danny will have his albums public, but I think everyone should be able to enjoy them.

This is my favorite, but he's got tons more.

Anyways, if you thought this was lame, go download Silverlight and watch CTV’s coverage on your own time.

OUT.

Strange I know…. With so much going on in the world of media and entertainment, for some strange reason I woke up this morning thinking about Gundam – specifically Mini Gundam. When I was a kid growing up in North America, even knowing that Gundam existed was a bit of a rarity. I was never actually that cool, but my mom taught English to a bunch of Asian foreigners so I learned from them what was cool on the other side of the world.

When my dad made a trip to Singapore I asked him to bring me back a robot – the result was the beginnings of my addiction to toys.

Anyways, I’m kind of in the mood to build one right now for some reason. Probably won’t have any luck seeing as I’m at work (shit – I mean not at work, on my own time ) so instead I’ll post a bunch of pictures courtesy of Google.

Bye for today.

Okay, so I’m used to “celebrating” holidays simply for the fact that I get the day off work, but this Ontario Family Day is kind of the cream of the crop. Coming from BC, I’m totally fine with taking things like BC Day off because, you know, I lived there and it’s gorgeous and there’s a reason to celebrate, but Family Day? Okay, I get it if I’m like this mature guy who actually has a family in this province, then I guess it’s worth taking the day, but for those of us (and I think there are a lot of us) that don’t have families here, this is pretty much just another long weekend.

Let me make this clear, I’m not complaining at all. Hell, if there was a Spiderman Holiday I would try my darnedest to convince my bosses that I should take the day.

Although I did walk around a bit today and noticed that like nothing is open. Starbucks, yes, but I have a feeling Starbucks would be open if they had a holiday called “Even Starbucks Will Be Closed.”

So what am I doing on my inaugural Family Day? I’m glad you asked.

LAUNDRY!

Out.

Okay Mr Shane Koyczan – you’ve got a new fan. Where was this buy when they filmed all those Molson Beer commercials?

you might shake a tree in the fall

and call a red leaf Canada

you might rattle off some celebrities

might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie

might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few

Barenaked Ladies

or that we made these crazy things

like zippers

electric cars

and washing machines

when defining Canada

it seems the world’s anthem has been

” been there done that”

and maybe that’s where we used to be at

it’s true

we’ve done and we’ve been

we’ve seen

all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine

and turned into theme parks

but when defining Canada

don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks

we are not just fishing stories

about the one that got away

we do more than sit around and say “eh?”

and yes

we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One

who inspired little number nines

and little number ninety-nines

but we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines

off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes

and some say what defines us

is something as simple as please and thank you

and as for you’re welcome

well we say that too

but we are more

than genteel or civilized

we are an idea in the process

of being realized

we are young

we are cultures strung together

then woven into a tapestry

and the design

is what makes us more

than the sum total of our history

we are an experiment going right for a change

with influences that range from a to zed

and yes we say zed instead of zee

we are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy

we dream so big that there are those

who would call our ambition an industry

because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow

we do more than grow wheat and brew beer

we are vineyards of good year after good year

we reforest what we clear

because we believe in generations beyond our own

knowing now that so many of us

have grown past what used to be

we can stand here today

filled with all the hope people have

when they say things like “someday”

someday we’ll be great

someday we’ll be this

or that

someday we’ll be at a point

when someday was yesterday

and all of our aspirations will pay the way

for those who on that day

look towards tomorrow

and still they say someday

we will reach the goals we set

and we will get interest on our inspiration

because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks

more than backpacks and hiking trails

we are hammers and nails building bridges

towards those who are willing to walk across

we are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss

we are not the see-through gloss or glamour

of those who clamour for the failings of others

we are fathers brothers sisters and mothers

uncles and nephews aunts and nieces

we are cousins

we are found missing puzzle pieces

we are families with room at the table for newcomers

we are more than summers and winters

more than on and off seasons

we are the reasons people have for wanting to stay

because we are more than what we say or do

we live to get past what we go through

and learn who we are

we are students

students who study the studiousness of studying

so we know what as well as why

we don’t have all the answers

but we try

and the effort is what makes us more

we don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for

so keep exploring

go far and wide

or go inside but go deep

go deep

as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss

and suddenly there was this location scout

trying to figure some way out

to get inside you

because you’ve been through hell and high water

and you went deep

keep exploring

because we are more

than a laundry list of things to do and places to see

we are more than hills to ski

or countryside ponds to skate

we are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait

we are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes

a country that is all the ways you choose to live

a land that can give you variety

because we are choices

we are millions upon millions of voices shouting

” keep exploring… we are more”

we are the surprise the world has in store for you

it’s true

Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”

so don’t say “been there done that”

unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk

while chalk artists draw still lifes

on the concrete of a kid in the street

beatboxing to Neil Young for fun

don’t say you’ve been there done that

unless you’ve been here doing it

let this country be your first-aid kit

for all the times you get sick of the same old same old

let us be the story told to your friends

and when that story ends

leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back

next time pack for all the things

you didn’t pack for the first time

but don’t let your luggage define your travels

each life unravels differently

and experiences are what make up

the colours of our tapestry

we are the true north

strong and free

and what’s more

is that we didn’t just say it

we made it be.

I’m kind of a roller coaster nutcase. I’ve done the specific trips to places like Magic Mountain and Disney World just to spend 3 hours in line for a 30 second rush. I’ve been to quite a few theme parks in my time so I would consider myself at least knowledgeable on the subject, so when I say that this brand new Harry Potter ride/thing at Universal Studios Florida looks completely off the chains, you don’t have to take it with any grains of salt.

Officially branded The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the Universal Studios Resort in Florida has pretty much created Hogwarts for people to explore. Now I’ve been to the Magic Kingdom, I’ve ridden through ET’s world, I’ve done Star Tours and I’ve taken the waterfall into Jurassic Park, but this… Oh my. I’m not even really the biggest Harry Potter fan, but after seeing this site and checking out the latest news on the production of this beast, even I can appreciate the detail being put into this experience.

Here’s a few of details you might be interested in:

They have recreated and entire street in Hogsmeade for people to walk around and explore

The kiddies (and who am I kidding, adults) can spend like crazy in Zonko’s and Dervish and Banges

You can take a ride on the Hippogriff

Hogwarts is a real castle

Okay okay, enough reading about this thing, how about seeing some stuff right?

The sheer scale of this thing is impressive enough, but it sounds like Universal Studios is planning something even bigger. They have just sent out a press release stating that on January 28th, in partnership with USA Today, they will be releasing what is being referred to as an “augmented reality map” of the entire experience. Basically what people can do is go online and experience The Wizarding World of Harry Potter live right from their computer screen. I’m sure this is simply a ploy to get people so excited to book their vacations early, but who cares… This thing looks great so far.

Check out everything on the official media site.

So I got this interesting FB message last evening. It seems as though my profile pics have been fooling people (or at the very least, this guy) into thinking that I was some how associated with the flick Up! Officially no, I had no part in the creation, distribution or production of Pixar’s awesome animated flick from last year. What I will take somewhat credit for is that mysteriously they stole my physical appearance from my youth.

Okay, it was most likely a fluke that the character of Russell is basically an animated version of me from ages 6-11, but I watch a lot of shows about conspiracy so I’m allowed to speculate.

Laters

Wow, this whole social networking thing is getting really out of hand lately. First it invades everyday life with updates and photo sharing, then the Tweeter wave and now? Facebook in collaboration with Vitamin Water have created a sports drink…

You read that correctly. Facebook is now a drink. Vitamin Water ran a campaign on Facebook to get a new label designed for their latest flavour and the results are in. Vitamin Water’s Facebook drink is called CONNECT and will taste like Black Cherry and Lime. Yeah, cause whenever I’m updating my status and commenting on someone’s profile pic I get a black-cherry and lime taste in my mouth. I probably don’t have to go into how ridiculous this is – I’m sure you can make that conclusion yourself. And if you can’t, check out this ad with Steve Nash and Fiddy Cent.