The Bloated Penguin

What? Yeah, that’s right. There will be a movie starring John Cusack called Hot Tub Time Machine with a plot that is exactly that. A bunch of dudes snap on the Speedos, hop in the hot tub and travel back to the 80’s. Sometimes I’d like to go back to the 80’s, but then I’d be really chunky and be wearing way too much neon… Check out the trailer below:

Welcome to one of the only posts you’ll read today that has absolutely nothing to do with the Apple iPad. This is the last time I’ll mention the giant iPod this post, I promise.

Instead, I’d like to chat abut a much more serious issue going on right now in the advertising world. Yes, your assumption is correct, I’m concerned for Salty the salt shaker. In a couple of new spots featured below we learn how Salty is trying to re familiarize himself with the world. I understand that with these brand new less-sodium Sidekicks rice packages I’ll probably live longer, but I’m of the opinion that we aren’t always living for ourselves. Instead, I say, screw Sidekicks and their plan to render Salty obsolete, just look at him…. He’s Sad!!!

And here’s the first ad featuring Salty that made us all shed a single tear:

I have to tip my proverbial hat (I don’t wear hats, but if I did it would probably be that one from Fargo) to the marketing peeps over at Lost and Smallville. Even though their shows have taken extremely long breaks, I’m still pretty jazzed to turn on the ol’ tube next week. The big return is going to be the first episode of the final season of Lost (I just noticed how ridiculous that sounds). I’ve never really fancied myself as a Lostie, but after waiting for what feels like an eternity, I’m pretty excited to see what is in store for the island dwellers.

I’ve spent the better part of this week (of my own time boss, I swear ) catching up on the latest promos for this season and watching the final few episodes from last season. I’m of the thought that nobody actually ‘dies’ in Lost so the return of some characters won’t surprise me. Especially because the show plays around with time so much. The only characters I would be extremely surprised to see would be Libby and Mr. Eko but not because of their characters, just because the actors were basically kicked off the show. I’m also not the type to try and predict what this whole thing is about. That’s where Internet arguments get started and terrible names like ‘noob’ get thrown around. Don’t want to get into that situation. In any case, next Tuesday should be a fun evening. Check out the latest promo I could find:

Smallville is a bit of a different story. This has been one of my guilty pleasures for a long time now and after a few seasons of terrible acting thanks to Kristin Kruek, Smallville almost lost my devotion. Good timing by Kruek leaving the show has brought forth some pretty entertaining story lines though. The show is becoming less and less about Clark’s ridiculous lust for his high school sweetheart and more about his adult life and coming into his own responsibilities as Superman. Sure it’s a bit of a stretch to see Chloe still kicking around, but Allison Mack is easy on the eyes so I don’t complain a lot about the fact that the Watchtower is now a person… Smallville returns this Sunday with a 2-hour mini-movie thing that has comic book lovers sporting partials. Focusing on the Justice Society and the inclusion of a team of super heroes, the return of Smallville could be a big launch pad for fans to get back into the series. Again, check out the promo below:

I’m kind of a roller coaster nutcase. I’ve done the specific trips to places like Magic Mountain and Disney World just to spend 3 hours in line for a 30 second rush. I’ve been to quite a few theme parks in my time so I would consider myself at least knowledgeable on the subject, so when I say that this brand new Harry Potter ride/thing at Universal Studios Florida looks completely off the chains, you don’t have to take it with any grains of salt.

Officially branded The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, the Universal Studios Resort in Florida has pretty much created Hogwarts for people to explore. Now I’ve been to the Magic Kingdom, I’ve ridden through ET’s world, I’ve done Star Tours and I’ve taken the waterfall into Jurassic Park, but this… Oh my. I’m not even really the biggest Harry Potter fan, but after seeing this site and checking out the latest news on the production of this beast, even I can appreciate the detail being put into this experience.

Here’s a few of details you might be interested in:

They have recreated and entire street in Hogsmeade for people to walk around and explore

The kiddies (and who am I kidding, adults) can spend like crazy in Zonko’s and Dervish and Banges

You can take a ride on the Hippogriff

Hogwarts is a real castle

Okay okay, enough reading about this thing, how about seeing some stuff right?

The sheer scale of this thing is impressive enough, but it sounds like Universal Studios is planning something even bigger. They have just sent out a press release stating that on January 28th, in partnership with USA Today, they will be releasing what is being referred to as an “augmented reality map” of the entire experience. Basically what people can do is go online and experience The Wizarding World of Harry Potter live right from their computer screen. I’m sure this is simply a ploy to get people so excited to book their vacations early, but who cares… This thing looks great so far.

Check out everything on the official media site.

When is someone going to call me up and say, “Hey, I’m going to fund a trip for you to go to Sundance to sit around and watch a bunch of movies. You don’t have to do anything and we’ll pay you a whack load of cash to do it.”? Well, in my dream world of complete fictional occurances, this happens every day. Anyways, back to Sundance; from the point of view of the guy on the outside who will probably never make it there.

This weekend saw the premier of a flick that I’m actually quite interested in seeing. The Runaways starring Twilight girls Kristin Stewart and Dakota Fanning premiered yesterday and so far the reviews are more positive. I’m not too surprised as this is a bio pic with quite a bit of anticipation. Not only is the central plot about one of the most news-worthy bands in history, it is also the feature directorial debut of Floria Sigismondi. Not sure who she is? Well she is the dirctor who put this doo-daddy together for Sheryl Crow:

So Sigismondi knows her stuff when it comes to controversial imagery. I’m excited to see what she has in store for a feature film though. Check out the trailer for The Runaways below.

I’m seriously not making this up. Cyrus premiers tomorrow at Sundance and will be looking for distributors. If nobody picks this up, I will pay anything to get this into a big theater in Burnaby BC, Canada. If Jonah Hill’s character’s last name is Matthew, Daniel or Howard I will personally fund this flick with every dollar I will make for the rest of my life.

John C Reilly plays a divorced man looking for love. He finds Marissa Tomei and heaven is upon them… Until her son Cyrus comes into play.

Enjoy

So I got this interesting FB message last evening. It seems as though my profile pics have been fooling people (or at the very least, this guy) into thinking that I was some how associated with the flick Up! Officially no, I had no part in the creation, distribution or production of Pixar’s awesome animated flick from last year. What I will take somewhat credit for is that mysteriously they stole my physical appearance from my youth.

Okay, it was most likely a fluke that the character of Russell is basically an animated version of me from ages 6-11, but I watch a lot of shows about conspiracy so I’m allowed to speculate.

Laters

Welcome to Wednesday. Grab your coffee, sit your ass down at your desk and pretend it’s Friday…. Okay, now that reality has set in, so can that mid week depression. Need a little pick-me-up? Check out Jasika Nicole. Who? I’m not surprised you ask. Jasika Nicole plays Astrid Farnsworth on the hit FOX show Fringe. If you follow the Bloated Penguin then you’ll already know my devotion to this show.

Anyways, back to Jasika, or Astrid. Even though Fringe carries tons of over-arching themes and a web of different stories throughout, one of the big reasons I watch is the comedic timing between John Noble’s character Walter Bishop and Astrid. In Fringe, one of the great mysteries is trying to guess whether or not this is going to be the week where Walter actually remembers Astrid’s name. On more than one occasion he’s referred to her as Astro, Astrix, or Astroid.

Jasika Nicole grew up in the Alabama and after graduating from Catwaba College with degrees in theater dance, voice and studio art she started to get national exposure with commercial work. After a few successful runs of advertising McDonalds, Home Depot and the NYC Lotto she landed a couple of guest spots on Law and Order: Criminal Intent. I’m assuming the casting director that works with JJ Abrams saw one of these episodes or possibly caught Jasika on stage during a performance of Believe In Me – A Bigfoot Musical and decided to give her a shot at auditioning for Astrid Farnsworth. The rest is gravy.

So where can we expect to see Jasika Nicole this year? She’ll be playing a small role in the new rom-com She’s Out Of My League opposite Jay Baruchel as well as finishing up the second season of Fringe. Keep your eyes peeled for more interesting news from Jasika and if you’re interested, you can check out her personal site (yeah, I guess I kind of stalked her….).

You can buy some of her art, check out more of her past performances and sign her guest book….