The Bloated Penguin

Okay, remember a few months ago when I posted the trailer for a flick called Legion that is coming out soon about a fallen angel and such? I went on a bit of a rant about how I wrote a story eerily similar to that concept. Anyways, I think it happened again. Check out this red band trailer for a flick called Repo Men starring Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. In all honesty, the concept of organ repo men in a futuristic reality was not my idea, but it was brought to me a few years ago as a concept and I put together a brief treatment for a short. I thought it was pretty interesting and if the treatment got any interest I’m sure it could have turned into something pretty cool. But, as with most indie film making experiences, the original concept for The Organ Repo Man was just not going to happen – at least by the team I was working with. Instead they got some kind of huge stars attached to this and made a blockbuster-y kind of thriller. Not exactly the direction I would have gone, but who knows, maybe there’s a reason why I’m here in my jammies sipping homemade coffee while the other guys are out there driving Bentley’s and naming their hand-bag sized pooches.

Check out the trailer!

Okay, originally I was skeptical about Kick-Ass, then I was mildly interested, then I was pretty excited, and now, with the release of the latest Hit Girl centric trailer, I’m full on “Kid Who Can’t Wait to Go To Disneyland.” Check out the latest from Kick-Ass and see all of the action in sequence. Although Nick Cage is featured in this clip, I’m going to assume this is a computer generated image of a douche instead. For a little bit of background info, Hit Girl is one of the essential characters in Kick-Ass. She’s basically a little kid that has been trained to kill and kill with style. She’s got the vocabulary of a drunken trucker, but the knife skills and duel gun wielding ability of a character out of COD. If this doesn’t make you want to watch Kick-Ass, then maybe you should rent The Notebook.

Kick-Ass Red Band Hit Girl Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

Enjoy.

I’m a huge Keira Knightley fan, but I think I can only watch this once. I… really don’t have a lot to say about it other than that….

Ah yes, it’s that time of the week/month/and even day I guess when I decide to share a little bit of info on a not-so-well-known (yet) female star. Okay, in the past I haven’t really profiled “stars” but I like to think I can spot talent when I see it. In the last few months I’ve profiled people like Deborah Ann Woll, Naya Rivera and recently Courtney Ford. Today’s profile focuses on Dichen Lachman. According to the phonetics department over at Wikipedia (alright they probably don’t have a phonetics department, but I’ve got this imaginative picture of Wikipedia being a bunch of elves that patrol the Internet… different post for later) Dichan’s name is pronounced:

Deechen

The 27 year old actress currently starring as Sierra on the now defunct Joss Whedon show Dollhouse actually comes from Australia. Sort of. Here’s where things get interesting. Dichen’s mother is Tibetan and her father is Australian but she was born in Japan. When she was young she picked up and moved from Nepal to Australia where she got the performance bug. After high school Dichen did a bit of the college thing (we all have that bug at some point or another) but soon picked up and left for Syndey to pursue acting for the screen.

It was in Sydney where she landed her huge break. Dichen played Katya Kinski on one of Australia’s longest running soap operas Neighbors. Her stint on daytime Australian TV also landed her a small role on a terrible North American movie called Aquamarine. I’m sure at this point in her career, Dichen would rather not remember her role in the film that starred one-hit-wonder Jo Jo.

But in 2009 Dichen landed her first big North American role as Sierra on Dollhouse. Sierra is one of the Dolls that the show focuses on along with Eliza Dushku’s Echo. Because of the nature of the show, Dichen has played Sierra as everything from an ass-kicking FBI agent to a screaming pop music fan and she pulls them all off surprisingly well. But like all Joss Whedon shows, Dollhouse is in the process of being canceled. I don’t think this has anything to do with Dichen’s performance. In fact, I have a feeling if there were a few more episodes that focused on her specifically, the show might have gutted it out for another season.

In any case, Dichen Lachman is a face to watch – oh, and I forgot to mention that she’s got this super exotic Aussie accent.

Shock value is one thing, but I think it’s a while other spoonful of goodness when you combine shock and great script writing for one super value meal. Wow, that’s a lot of pointless food metaphors. Anyways, check out this new commercial from Finagle Knows Bagel. It’s not shocking like “wow I can’t believe they would show that on TV,” or anything, but it’s pretty (beep)ing funny.

Not my picture, totally stole this

So I just moved into my new place and headed on down to the Distillery District in Toronto. Love it. The chocolate factory speaks to me on so many levels and I could probably spend hours just walking around and checking out the galleries. I know I know, before you deem me a hipster, please read on.

The Distillery is great, with one exception, Segway. Amidst a plethora of art galleries, boutique shops and coffee houses is a Segway shop and tour that sticks out like a bad rash. I’m going to go on a bit of a rant here, so if you’re not into it, just enjoy the pretty pictures I took from Google and pretend it didn’t happen.

Segway’s are evil:

When people are standing up right, we’re built to basically do one of two things. Either stand there, or move our legs. But the Segway has melded the two together creating some sort of riff in the way our bodies are built. Now we can stand and move in any direction (as long we wear a helmet) with the Segway. To me, this isn’t right, it’s kind of supernatural and leads me to believe it is evil.

Segway’s make people look like deuchebags:

No matter how you dress it up, either preppy to the max, or straight up gangsta, nobody in this world can make riding a Segway look cool. In fact, they amplify the deuchebaggery 10 fold and make people want to throw things at you. When you see someone riding a Segway, what is the first thing that pops into your head? Chances are, it’s something along the lines od Deuchebag.

Cool? Really?

Segway’s are not futuristic:

Usually when you see something with a slick color palette and smooth edges that doesn’t make a sound, you think futuristic technology, or at the very least, something that came out of Star Trek. But when you see a Segway, it’s confusing. Yes it embodies all of the aforementioned traits of something futuristic, but the point of it is backwards. Since when did we evolve so much that we want to stand and move? NEVER.

Okay, rant over. You can check out some of the images I’ve copied and pasted straight from Google. I’d post the ones I took this weekend, but the weather wasn’t great and it makes the Distillery look a lot more depressing than it really is. This means a couple of things. I’m a terrible photographer and I’m an image thief.

Again, totally not my image

Not sure how many Canucks fans out there that are reading this, but with the season we’re having right now, the only consistency we have with our team is the frequency of fists to face by Rick Rypien. The little man feeds off mismatches and pummels larger opponents. A bit of background info on the Rypper:

Bloodlines:

When you’re a born and raised in a boxing family it wouldn’t surprise anyone if you knew how to throw a few. Rick Rypien’s father was a Canadian champ back in the day, so the fists of fury are in the blood. From the looks of the video below, Valabik’s bloodlines might include a piece of meat or a heavy bag.

The Block:

Rypien is s fighter and any good fighter knows that defense is just as important as offense. Rypien often uses one fore-arm to block while he waits for his opponent to make a mistake. The result is usually a much bigger dude landing on his ass.

Come One Come All:

It doesn’t matter who steps up to Rypien, he’ll throw’em with anyone. The video below shows his pummeling an elderly man from Detroit.